{"title":"UFD Lotion","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"145\"\u003eAlright fellow degens and noble unicorn wranglers, gather ‘round… because this lotion is about to \u003cstrong data-start=\"98\" data-end=\"138\"\u003esend your skin straight to the moon.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🚀🦄\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"147\" data-end=\"567\"\u003eExperience \u003cstrong data-start=\"158\" data-end=\"181\"\u003elegendary hydration\u003c\/strong\u003e with our all-natural lotion — crafted to calm dry, itchy skin and help soothe eczema and psoriasis without leaving you feeling like you dipped yourself in fryer grease. Aloe vera comes in clutch with instant hydration and calming power, while rich shea butter fortifies your skin barrier like a diamond-handed guardian protecting your moisture bags from the harsh wasteland of dry air.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"569\" data-end=\"1086\"\u003eWe didn’t stop there. Cocoa butter and jojoba oil slide in with that \u003cstrong data-start=\"638\" data-end=\"664\"\u003esilky smooth liquidity\u003c\/strong\u003e, giving your skin soft, supple vibes without the rug-pull of oily residue. Vitamins C and E work behind the scenes like veteran blockchain validators — repairing, protecting, and helping your skin stay radiant against the daily chaos of wind, sun, and life in general. No parabens. No sulfates. No artificial fragrances. Just clean ingredients for sensitive skin that absorb faster than a meme coin pumping on launch day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1088\" data-end=\"1124\"\u003eNow here’s where things get spicy…\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1126\" data-end=\"1372\"\u003eThis formula contains a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1150\" data-end=\"1175\"\u003eclassified ingredient\u003c\/strong\u003e whispered about only in the deepest corners of the internet. After years of research, late-night experiments, and one extremely questionable quest through a rainbow portal… we finally obtained it:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1374\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1374\" data-end=\"1392\"\u003eUnicorn farts.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🦄💨\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1401\" data-end=\"1650\"\u003eYes, the real deal. Ethically sourced from free-range unicorns living somewhere beyond the charts. These mystical vapors are rumored to contain pure hydration magic — giving your skin that \u003cstrong data-start=\"1590\" data-end=\"1650\"\u003esoft, glowing, “I just aped into the right coin” energy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1652\" data-end=\"1889\"\u003eAnd thanks to our proprietary \u003cstrong data-start=\"1682\" data-end=\"1701\"\u003eLifting Method™\u003c\/strong\u003e, any lotion your skin doesn’t absorb simply \u003cstrong data-start=\"1746\" data-end=\"1794\"\u003evanishes like weak hands during a market dip\u003c\/strong\u003e — leaving nothing behind except deeply hydrated, non-greasy skin smoother than a whale wallet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1891\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003eSo go ahead.\u003cbr data-start=\"1903\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003eRub it in.\u003cbr data-start=\"1916\" data-end=\"1919\"\u003eHydrate like a legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1945\" data-end=\"2005\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1945\" data-end=\"1998\"\u003eSoft skin. Diamond hands. Unicorn farts included.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🦄💎💨\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"ufd-lotion-cherry-almond","title":"UFD Lotion - Cherry Almond","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"145\"\u003eAlright fellow degens and noble unicorn wranglers, gather ‘round… because this lotion is about to \u003cstrong data-start=\"98\" data-end=\"138\"\u003esend your skin straight to the moon.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🚀🦄\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"147\" data-end=\"567\"\u003eExperience \u003cstrong data-start=\"158\" data-end=\"181\"\u003elegendary hydration\u003c\/strong\u003e with our all-natural lotion — crafted to calm dry, itchy skin and help soothe eczema and psoriasis without leaving you feeling like you dipped yourself in fryer grease. Aloe vera comes in clutch with instant hydration and calming power, while rich shea butter fortifies your skin barrier like a diamond-handed guardian protecting your moisture bags from the harsh wasteland of dry air.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"569\" data-end=\"1086\"\u003eWe didn’t stop there. Cocoa butter and jojoba oil slide in with that \u003cstrong data-start=\"638\" data-end=\"664\"\u003esilky smooth liquidity\u003c\/strong\u003e, giving your skin soft, supple vibes without the rug-pull of oily residue. Vitamins C and E work behind the scenes like veteran blockchain validators — repairing, protecting, and helping your skin stay radiant against the daily chaos of wind, sun, and life in general. No parabens. No sulfates. No artificial fragrances. Just clean ingredients for sensitive skin that absorb faster than a meme coin pumping on launch day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1088\" data-end=\"1124\"\u003eNow here’s where things get spicy…\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1126\" data-end=\"1372\"\u003eThis formula contains a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1150\" data-end=\"1175\"\u003eclassified ingredient\u003c\/strong\u003e whispered about only in the deepest corners of the internet. After years of research, late-night experiments, and one extremely questionable quest through a rainbow portal… we finally obtained it:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1374\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1374\" data-end=\"1392\"\u003eUnicorn farts.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🦄💨\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1401\" data-end=\"1650\"\u003eYes, the real deal. Ethically sourced from free-range unicorns living somewhere beyond the charts. These mystical vapors are rumored to contain pure hydration magic — giving your skin that \u003cstrong data-start=\"1590\" data-end=\"1650\"\u003esoft, glowing, “I just aped into the right coin” energy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1652\" data-end=\"1889\"\u003eAnd thanks to our proprietary \u003cstrong data-start=\"1682\" data-end=\"1701\"\u003eLifting Method™\u003c\/strong\u003e, any lotion your skin doesn’t absorb simply \u003cstrong data-start=\"1746\" data-end=\"1794\"\u003evanishes like weak hands during a market dip\u003c\/strong\u003e — leaving nothing behind except deeply hydrated, non-greasy skin smoother than a whale wallet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1891\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003eSo go ahead.\u003cbr data-start=\"1903\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003eRub it in.\u003cbr data-start=\"1916\" data-end=\"1919\"\u003eHydrate like a legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1945\" data-end=\"2005\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1945\" data-end=\"1998\"\u003eSoft skin. Diamond hands. Unicorn farts included.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🦄💎💨\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unicorn Fart Dust","offers":[{"title":"Cherry","offer_id":48703732777112,"sku":"800-2","price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0761\/1891\/7272\/files\/Website_Product_Pics_copy.png?v=1776355117"},{"product_id":"ufd-lotion-travel-size-2-pack","title":"UFD Lotion - Travel Size 2 pack","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"145\" data-start=\"0\"\u003eTake these 2oz travel size bottles everywhere you go!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"145\" data-start=\"0\"\u003eAlright fellow degens and noble unicorn wranglers, gather ‘round… because this lotion is about to \u003cstrong data-end=\"138\" data-start=\"98\"\u003esend your skin straight to the moon.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🚀🦄\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"567\" data-start=\"147\"\u003eExperience \u003cstrong data-end=\"181\" data-start=\"158\"\u003elegendary hydration\u003c\/strong\u003e with our all-natural lotion — crafted to calm dry, itchy skin and help soothe eczema and psoriasis without leaving you feeling like you dipped yourself in fryer grease. Aloe vera comes in clutch with instant hydration and calming power, while rich shea butter fortifies your skin barrier like a diamond-handed guardian protecting your moisture bags from the harsh wasteland of dry air.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1086\" data-start=\"569\"\u003eWe didn’t stop there. Cocoa butter and jojoba oil slide in with that \u003cstrong data-end=\"664\" data-start=\"638\"\u003esilky smooth liquidity\u003c\/strong\u003e, giving your skin soft, supple vibes without the rug-pull of oily residue. Vitamins C and E work behind the scenes like veteran blockchain validators — repairing, protecting, and helping your skin stay radiant against the daily chaos of wind, sun, and life in general. No parabens. No sulfates. No artificial fragrances. Just clean ingredients for sensitive skin that absorb faster than a meme coin pumping on launch day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1124\" data-start=\"1088\"\u003eNow here’s where things get spicy…\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1372\" data-start=\"1126\"\u003eThis formula contains a \u003cstrong data-end=\"1175\" data-start=\"1150\"\u003eclassified ingredient\u003c\/strong\u003e whispered about only in the deepest corners of the internet. After years of research, late-night experiments, and one extremely questionable quest through a rainbow portal… we finally obtained it:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1399\" data-start=\"1374\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1392\" data-start=\"1374\"\u003eUnicorn farts.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🦄💨\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1650\" data-start=\"1401\"\u003eYes, the real deal. Ethically sourced from free-range unicorns living somewhere beyond the charts. These mystical vapors are rumored to contain pure hydration magic — giving your skin that \u003cstrong data-end=\"1650\" data-start=\"1590\"\u003esoft, glowing, “I just aped into the right coin” energy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1889\" data-start=\"1652\"\u003eAnd thanks to our proprietary \u003cstrong data-end=\"1701\" data-start=\"1682\"\u003eLifting Method™\u003c\/strong\u003e, any lotion your skin doesn’t absorb simply \u003cstrong data-end=\"1794\" data-start=\"1746\"\u003evanishes like weak hands during a market dip\u003c\/strong\u003e — leaving nothing behind except deeply hydrated, non-greasy skin smoother than a whale wallet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1943\" data-start=\"1891\"\u003eSo go ahead.\u003cbr data-end=\"1906\" data-start=\"1903\"\u003eRub it in.\u003cbr data-end=\"1919\" data-start=\"1916\"\u003eHydrate like a legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-is-only-node=\"\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-end=\"2005\" data-start=\"1945\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1998\" data-start=\"1945\"\u003eSoft skin. Diamond hands. Unicorn farts included.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🦄💎💨\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unicorn Fart Dust","offers":[{"title":"Cherry","offer_id":48904054964376,"sku":"800-2 Travel","price":7.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0761\/1891\/7272\/files\/Website_Product_Pics_Travelsize.png?v=1776871347"}],"url":"https:\/\/unicornfartdust.store\/collections\/ufd-lotion.oembed","provider":"Unicorn Fart Dust","version":"1.0","type":"link"}